Avram Grant Sacked by Chelsea

Chelsea have sacked manager Avram Grant.

A statement read: “Chelsea Football Club can confirm that Avram Grant has had his contract as manager terminated. This follows meetings over the last two days.

“Everybody at Chelsea would like to thank Avram for his contribution since taking over as manager last September.

“We will now be concentrating all our efforts on identifying a new manager for Chelsea and there will be no further comment until that appointment is made.”

Lessons in Faking orgasms on NHS

Lessons in Faking orgasms on NHS

Marriage guidance councillors and psychologists have agreed that faking orgasms can be beneficial to relationships and help save marriages.

Dr. F Armstrong, research leader at Waddington has praised NHS officials for making lessons in faking orgasms available on the NHS as a way of helping combat rising divorce rates in the UK.

Unisex trials have been taking place for the past 18 months and results show that over 92% of people questioned are no wiser that their partners are faking it, and are convinced that actual orgasms are occurring. This leads to less tension in the partnership and a general increase in happiness.

The 4 week lessons have been held in private, aided by professional actors and actresses and overseen by Dr. Armstrong. The 3 hour lessons run once a week for 4 weeks in groups of a maximum 16 attendees.
One of the first attendees; Mrs. X of South Warwickshire tells us, before having Orgasm lessons the sexual side of her marriage was a nightmare.

“I’ve never been very responsive sexually and would much rather crawl up in bed with a good book. My husband never understood this and was always striving to make me orgasm”

This would lead to prolonged sexual activity and when orgasm was still not reached a sense of frustration and failure by Mr. X, which led to an increasing strain on the marriage and Mrs. X’s dread of any sexual activity.

Mrs. X goes on to say
“after just 3 weeks of lessons I was sure I would be able to fake an orgasm and that night decided to put all my training in to practise”
Sure enough the whole night was a success.

“Everything started as normal, then I began with what I learned in lesson 1, as Dr. Armstrong told us, we have to make our partner believe they have suddenly done something different and to encourage them to keep doing it, I also remembered not to go over the top and to concentrate on the whimper technique”

She tells us the effect on her partner was almost instant and that his orgasm started within a minute of her starting her fake orgasm and sexual activity was over within 10 minutes.

“We spent the next 20 minutes cuddling and giggling in each other’s arms as though we were teenagers again and he was asleep with a look of contentment on his face that I had not seen for a long time”

Since then, their marriage has gone from strength to strength and all the tension has completely gone.

Dr.Armstrong says “faking orgasm lessons on the NHS could significally reduce divorce rates and lead to a far happier society”

Full story here – www.waddington.ac.uk/lessons-in-faking-orgasms/

Timesonline diverting attention from Peter Hain

At the time of writing this article, a google search for Peter Hain results in the timesonline using  Google AdWords.

Nothing strange in that, except for the fact the ad doesn’t take us to anything about Peter Hain, but instead leads visitors to an article about George Osborne!

Why would the Timesonline divert people trying to find out about Peter Hain to a story about George Osborne failing to declare?

Are they trying to divert attention from Peter Hain?

New Google logo

After seeing the first 2 google doodles for Christmas 2007 I still don’t know what they are supposed to represent.

Venue Finder

It looks like Venue Finder a system devised to help locate UK Conference Venues will be launched in early 2008.

I have been working with a number of experienced conference agents to create Venue Finder, a system  which combines an extensive database of over 11,000 UK venues with the expertise and know how of experienced conference agents.

Where Venue Finder differs from most online venues directories is by the fact it does not rely on a totally automated system, the conference agent imputs the customers required needs and knows within minutes which suitable venues are available on the required dates.

Is Google Checkout safe to use

Read an interesting thread in a Legal newsroup on Usenet today.

A poster had brought an item for £325 from an online retailer using their Google checkout facility. The goods arrived 2 weeks later but were not as described and faulty. The poster attempted to contact the retailer only to find the website had gone, emails were unanswered and the postal address was fake.

He initially used the Google checkout mediation service which failed as the vendor could not be traced, he was then told by Google to continue his attempt to contact the vendor or ask his credit card company for a charge back from the vendor.

Now this is where the catch comes in.

The credit card company couldn’t issue a charge back against the vendor because the vendor wasn’t the person who charged the card.
The people who had charged the card were Google so any charge back could only be against them, but as the service google provided was money transfering and this had not been the problem, it meant the poster could not claim the money back of them either.

What in theory this means is that whenever you buy anything online via Google Checkout you automatically lose the security that credit cards provide against bad purchases.

Be aware of this next time you make an online purchase and ensure you read the small print of the Google Checkout terms and conditions.

Glasgow Commonwealth Games

Glasgow wins Commonwealth Games in 2014

Glasgow has been announced as the host for the 2014 Commonwealth Games.

With the 2010 games in Delhi being seen as a risk, Glasgow was seen as being the safe option for 2014. Gavin Hastings jumped in the air despite being squashed like a sardine in the crowds, he has hugged strangers and will be for the rest of the day. The atmosphere in Glasgow is said to be unbelievable.

Susan Hughes says it is fantastic news for Glasgow and even people not involved in sport will be glad we won

Jack McConnell, former first minister, says it is fantastic to see the excitement and says it will put Glasgow on the international map and improve the profile of the city. He says 70% of the infrastructure is already in place due to everyone working together.

Nichola Sturgeon says it is phenomenal for Glasgow and Scotland and will mean so much to so many people will bring millions of pounds of investment, thousands of jobs and a real sense of pride.

Is Google Profiteering From Weak Dollar

With the US Dollar continuing to weaken against other currencies are google using this to skim of earnings from non-US AdSense users?

As a UK resident, my website is set up for UK visitors and UK advertisers, nearly all of these advertisers will be operating their AdWords accounts using budgets set using UK Sterling.

The fact they are competing against similar advertisers means the weakness of the US Dollar has little, if any effect on click pricing and daily budgets.

In other words, they are still paying Google the same amount in sterling, irrespective of the exchange rates.

This means when the exchange rate was 1 – 1.80 every £100 an advertiser spent related to $180.00 to Google.

With an exchange rate now of 1 – 2.10 every £100 an advertiser spends relates to $210.00 to google.

With this established it should mean that UK AdSense earners who are targeting UK advertisers should be seing a rise in US Dollar income in proportion to the exchange rates.

To sum up, assuming click rates etc. are consistent as the US Dollar weakens, UK based AdSense users targeting the UK market should see their US Dollar earnings rising at the same rate as exchange rates, meaning their Sterling rates remain consistent.

The question is, Are UK AdSense users seing this rise, or are google creaming it off hoping that nobody picks up on this?